My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She even gives head with a lisp.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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