She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
