dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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