omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
