Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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