it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
