Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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