I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just sucked dick on a ferry
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
