Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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