Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
