The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
