i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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