How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
