My hand turned me down
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
