so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
