so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
