Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
