I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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