ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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