I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
