This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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