I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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