oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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