Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
