Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize