dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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