I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
