Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
