i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
