I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love having hate sex.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
