I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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