Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
