So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have demons in me.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
