The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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