I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i came on her dog
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
