i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize