I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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