I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
