is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
