He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
