so explain again why im purple
no
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize