I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
