At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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