3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
