So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
