Having a random hookup so left but love u
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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