the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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