Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
