no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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