if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
