Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
