Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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