I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
