sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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