I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize