The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
