Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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