you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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