I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
