it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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