adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
is it fun? or sober?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
