Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize