Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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